Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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