Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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