Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
