i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
