Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
