some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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