Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
