I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
