Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
