Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
