you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
