Moan for me like Helen Keller
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
