Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
