Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
