i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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