He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Randomize
