I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
