but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This couple is walking their pig around campus
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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