he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
It's just like the Real World with babies
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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