I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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