There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
