so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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