How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
A+ Viking dick
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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