That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
