i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
