my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Alive.
So much puke
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
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