We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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