Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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