awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
