So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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