She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
