Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
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