he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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