my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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