i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
