Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
