omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
