she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
This is classic penis vs brain.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
