i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
