Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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