did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
