My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
