Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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