Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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