Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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