yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
