I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
