all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
