She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
