HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
