i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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