I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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